Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Kids' Dad is Getting Remarried Today ...

and for me, it's a day of very mixed emotions. There's a part of me that is leaping for joy; he's someone else's concern now. He can no longer try to dominate or control my life. Best part? He is finally forced to quit asking me things like, "Do you miss me at all? Would you go out with me if I ever became free again?" etc. By virtue of the fact that he is making lifelong commitments to someone else, he is forced to completely relinquish our former relationship (which is, for the situation, exactly how it should be.) Now we're parents -- nothing more. There's a great deal of peace in that thought.

There's a little part of me that is small enough to be unable to wish them happy. That part of me watches their relationship and thinks that perhaps, they're a train wreck waiting to happen. (But then, who am I to judge? Obviously, so were we ... ) Most of the time, the logical, more Christlike part of me reasserts itself and points out that this may just be my own "Nineveh" moment. You know, the part where, like Jonah, I'm sitting on the hill waiting for the explosions that never come? Mind you, unlike Jonah, I've got better things to do with my time than to sit and wait for bad things to happen to other people, or to even waste effort hoping that they will, but there is still a part of me that is small enough to resent the fact that because of him and his choices, there are a lot of very difficult elements in my life -- that same part that hurts a little that, in theory, he's going to give her the life that he should have given me.


Most of me, though, really wants things to work out well for them. Even that little Jonah-like part of me wants things to work out well for them. It would be the very best thing for my kids at this point, and I'd give just about anything to see some great things happen in my kids' lives. Quite frankly, my kids need this marriage to work out well. They don't need to see another dangerously dysfunctional marriage. They need to see that marriage can be grand and glorious and comfortable and safe. They need to see their dad being the kind of husband that he should be, so that when the time comes for them to marry, they will look for a man who is kind, who has integrity, who lives his beliefs, and most of all, one who will treat them as they should be treated. So, while it's a mixed bag -- what marriage isn't? -- I find that I can, with all sincerity, say, "Congratulations! Best of luck ... "

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Ham and Beans -- Slow Cooker Style

Between work and helping to chaperon the school's musical rehearsal, I knew that today was going to be long and crazy. So, I wanted dinner to be warm, hearty, and -- most importantly of all -- ready when we finally arrived back home.

A while back, I pinned this recipe on Pinterest. (Seriously, I love that site a bit more than I should, but oh, what beautiful things it's done for my world!) Ham and beans sounded like a quick, easy, inexpensive meal that would meat all of my requirements, and I actually had all the ingredients on hand. (I did sub in some leftover spiral cut ham instead of a ham hock or bone ... mainly because that's what I had.)

Hours later ...

After walking in the door and being greeted by a delicious smell, I sampled dinner. It was good, but just a bit bland for our tastes, so I tossed in a bit of cayenne pepper, some basil, and some season salt. (I have a bad habit of just eyeballing these kind of things ... ) After cooking for another 45 minutes or so, it was perfect.

We paired it with a bit of cornbread. I had some jiffy mixes that were needing to be used -- I know, ick! but, I mixed in a bit of brown sugar, one drained can of corn, and a heaping, large spoonful of ricotta cheese. It was pretty dang good!

My favorite part about this recipe? You don't have to soak the beans. I put them in around 10:30 this morning -- dry as a bone -- and they were done by about 6:00. Perfect for a busy day ...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Woes of a Redless Valentine's Day ...

Sitting in the hall helping with math facts for M's class. She marches up to me with a look of desperation on her face. 
"Mom, do you have ANYTHING red in your purse that I can wear?"  
(After a quick search ... ) "Nope." 
M says, "Not even red lipstick?!?" 
(Thinking to myself -- since when have you EVER seen me wear RED lipstick?) "Sorry ... " 
"Ugh!!!! (insert dramatic arm-flailing & eye rolling here) I looked in my backpack, and all I have is a nasty pair of dirty red valentine socks." (stalking dramatically back into class.)
I sit pondering why on earth she has nasty, dirty socks still in her backpack ...
(Bouncing out of class with a look that is one part disgust, one part twinkle-eyed mischief, and two parts smirk) M flings her arms, drops her shoulders, and says, while shaking her head, "*Sigh* What kind of mom doesn't even have RED lipstick in her purse?"
(Umm ... that would be me.) "Apparently, this kind of mom ... "

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Dear World,

I'm serving notice; my ability to laugh at myself has been severely tried these last eight days. (I'm pretty sure that it's currently broken ... ) Between the zipper incident, the cement stair fiasco, missing the step at the mechanic's & giggling like an idiot because I was already so nervous, miraculously dumping my very large stack of music in front of the whole primary, forgetting to play the final verse of the opening hymn in sacrament meeting (while the chorister kindly waited for me to figure it out ... & waited ... & waited) and then being fabulous enough to apologize -- OUT LOUD -- before finally playing said verse, mangling the bass line of the closing hymn, and spilling the choir director's sheet music all over the peddles of the organ -- so that I got to figure out how to crawl around under the keyboards picking them up while trying not to expose myself to the already slightly shocked mature people nearby, I think that I'm done.

If you would like to avoid severe retaliation upon the next incident, I kindly suggest that you back off and let me breathe.

Sincerely,
Not laughing anymore ...

P.S. The smiley face shaped wounds on my right knee? Not funny ...