Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Kids' Dad is Getting Remarried Today ...

and for me, it's a day of very mixed emotions. There's a part of me that is leaping for joy; he's someone else's concern now. He can no longer try to dominate or control my life. Best part? He is finally forced to quit asking me things like, "Do you miss me at all? Would you go out with me if I ever became free again?" etc. By virtue of the fact that he is making lifelong commitments to someone else, he is forced to completely relinquish our former relationship (which is, for the situation, exactly how it should be.) Now we're parents -- nothing more. There's a great deal of peace in that thought.

There's a little part of me that is small enough to be unable to wish them happy. That part of me watches their relationship and thinks that perhaps, they're a train wreck waiting to happen. (But then, who am I to judge? Obviously, so were we ... ) Most of the time, the logical, more Christlike part of me reasserts itself and points out that this may just be my own "Nineveh" moment. You know, the part where, like Jonah, I'm sitting on the hill waiting for the explosions that never come? Mind you, unlike Jonah, I've got better things to do with my time than to sit and wait for bad things to happen to other people, or to even waste effort hoping that they will, but there is still a part of me that is small enough to resent the fact that because of him and his choices, there are a lot of very difficult elements in my life -- that same part that hurts a little that, in theory, he's going to give her the life that he should have given me.


Most of me, though, really wants things to work out well for them. Even that little Jonah-like part of me wants things to work out well for them. It would be the very best thing for my kids at this point, and I'd give just about anything to see some great things happen in my kids' lives. Quite frankly, my kids need this marriage to work out well. They don't need to see another dangerously dysfunctional marriage. They need to see that marriage can be grand and glorious and comfortable and safe. They need to see their dad being the kind of husband that he should be, so that when the time comes for them to marry, they will look for a man who is kind, who has integrity, who lives his beliefs, and most of all, one who will treat them as they should be treated. So, while it's a mixed bag -- what marriage isn't? -- I find that I can, with all sincerity, say, "Congratulations! Best of luck ... "

4 comments:

Erin said...

Jaymie, you are amazing. Love you!

Steph said...

Hugs to you, Jaymie and commendation on facing your "Jonah" moments and seeing them for what they are. You are always a light in the world and I sure miss chatting with you. Love ya!!

Jaymie said...

Thanks, Erin! Love you too ...

Jaymie said...

Thanks, Steph! I could say the same for you. I miss seeing you! Love you too ...